Friends in Paris -- And I Still Distrust Frenchies
Several friends of the Jive To The Monkey brigade are vacationing in Paris this week, including Chris and Christy Davis, Lorie "Spelling Police" King, and "Random" Cheryl Rupp.
This leaves me with far less Frenchies to deal with. I won't have to look over my shoulder quite so much (for newcomers -- Bobby Gilles distrusts Americans who like to speak French, whom he has dubbed "Frenchies." Besides the afore-mentioned King and Rupp, Frenchies who have lurked around the corridors of Jive To The Monkey include Sarah Meador and Dr. Tom Branch. Mark them. Don't leave them alone with Grannie's silverware).
Ms. King has already signed on for an exclusive Jive To The Monkey interview when she returns, so look for an in-depth account of the Paris trip sometime next week. We hope to secure a commitment from the Davis's and Ms. Rupp as well, so we can demonstrate how often Frenchies distort things and fail to get their stories straight.
Looking in my Crystal Ball, I will now tell you what fate will befall this foursome in Paris this week:
Lorie -- let's just call her "Most Likely To Travel Half-way Around The World Only To Shop At The Gap." If they have Gaps in Paris. I am predicting that the Little King will return with nary a memory of the Louvre, Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, or the Bastille, but if you want the low down on where to get a good pair of shoes in Paris, or a sweater or something, King is your girl.
Chris will probably not be darkening any hallowed doors in France either, but smart money says he will return with an encyclopedic knowledge of the top indie bands in the Paris underground music scene. He'll probably return with 30 CD's, too, and will play them nonstop until Christy has enough of it and decides to unhook and dismantle their home sound system. Chris will be unable to hook it back up, unless he can persuade one of his girls to do it.
Cheryl will get lost. She's probably already lost. The rest of the group will spend at least 15 hours frantically searching the environs of Paris, with nary a glimpse of The Queen Of Random. Finally, while our heroes are filling out a report at the police station (and while Lorie flirts with some Muskateers), an elderly couple will lead Cheryl in by the arm, saying "We don't know what happened, but we found this girl wandering aimlessly in our garden, muttering something about misplacing her shoes."
Indeed, Cheryl will be barefoot. The shoes will never be found, nor will Cheryl remember why, where, or when she took them off. But of course Lorie will know just where to find a new pair, on sale for 30% off.
posted by Bobby @ 6:49 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
in light of our friends being unavailable for comment, i feel at liberty to post something long. first, i would like to point out that none of the people in france who you are calling "frenchies" really speak french. they make valiant attempts, but the true frenchies are still here in the states. second, i am curious as to why tom is a dr. and i'm not. third, i think your insights into the fantastic foursome's trip to paris are dead on, with the exception of lorie. have you seen any of the stuff she brings back from brazil? the girl knows how to shop local. give her some credit.
Dear Sarah:
Always feel at liberty to post something long. And now, I issue a point-by-point reply:
1. Rats. So I shall remain on guard.
2. Because "Dr. Tom" has a ring to it. "Dr. Sarah" does not. Sorry.
3. Yes, but Lorie spent much of her childhood in Brazil. One would expect her to be more cognizant of the culture there. However, I will say that I surely embellished by claiming she would go all the way to France just to shop at the Gap. I'm sure she'll bring back some authentic French items. The only true point is that she IS much more interested in shopping in Paris than in touring the landmarks, which is not that odd considering Paris is the fashion capitol of the world.
So I must apologize for besmirching King's character. She will no doubt behave admirably, unless she is too busy flirting with the Muskateers to rescue Cheryl and help recover the shoes.
Wow im a DR.....ahhhhh I feel better now.
Man, I hate that I ran out of film last night. Would have loved to captured that Kodak moment. Thanks Bobby for being a trooper to intertain us for an after meal treat. Seizure later...
Young William: I can't for the life of me imagine why you posted your comment after this column, rather than where it belongs -- after the belly-dancing column. Could it be that you're still in a state of shock?
People Of The Internet: Will is refering to the incident described in my Belly Dancing column. Go there. Read it. Then, and only then, will Will make sense.
P.S. Someday on this blog I will post the lyrics to my song "Will: Friend Of Losers."
hmph, the things my "friends" say about me when i leave the country. i did not get lost. no, not once, and i even ventured off on my own a number of times. even in museums, in which i often get lost. in fact, there were a few times i helped us find something (gasp). emphasis on few (like maybe twice. we did have Christy "map queen" Davis with us, after all). and i did not losse any shoes, where did that come from? i did loose a pair of earings and a set of headphones, but then Lorie lost lip gloss and sunglasses, so we're pretty even. i don't know if the Davises lost anything. they're a secretive bunch... and, Ms. Meador, i spoke French to a number of French people, and understood and was understood. i remembered quite a bit more than i expected from my two years of intense study in college. i was even mistaken for a French person a few times (ok, this was before i started speaking, or said anything beyond Bonjour). And Chris was just as into shoes as Lorie was, though niether purchased any footwear, and came home with hats instead. go figure.
Oh, silly! Life was so boring without you Stateside.
Anyway, I am glad to know that you didn't "loose" much, but I should say that this doesn't mean you didn't lose things -- including your shoes or your person.
I am sure Chris and Lorie both look precious in their little French hats.
oh, sigh. i really do know the difference between lose and loose. i do. i don't know why i did that. i'm going to blame it on lingering jet lag. and they did look precious in their hats, or at least Lorie looked precious, Chris looked like Tevia from Fiddler on the Roof, which was particularly preciaous when he did a brief rendition of "Tradition." Christie also purchased a ha of similar style after some peer pressure from Ms. King.
One of my favorite moments was when Chris, with a serious look and a tone of severity in his voice, handed me his hat folded in half to stow in my purse for him, itructing me to, whatever i do, make absolutely sure not to fold it in half. he ment the other direction, i discovered after several moments of total confusion. still recovering from the confusion. maybe that's the reason for the loose/lose confusion in my previous post.
Post a Comment
<< Home