Today Is The Day

Today's the day, Monkey Maniacs, for the conclusion of "Same River Twice." Look here later this afternoon.

Here's something from Donald Miller's "Searching For God Knows What." He's been thinking about what would happen if he were an alien, come to observe our species -- what he would think. This is the note he guesses he'd write to his fellow aliens when he went back home:

"Humans, as a species, are constantly, and in every way, comparing themselves to one another, which, given the brief nature of their existence, seems an oddity and, for that matter, a waste. Nevertheless, this is the driving influence behind every human's social development, their emotional health and sense of joy, and, sadly, their greatest tragedies. It is as though something that helped them function and live well has gone missing, and they are pining for that missing thing in all sorts of odd methods, none of which are working. The greater tragedy is that very few people understand they have the disease. This seems strange as well because it is obvious. To be sure, it is killing them, and yet sustaining their social and economic systems. They are an entirely beautiful people with a terrible problem."

Miller goes on to imagine what this alien would think if he were to visit with Miller and his friend Grant while they were watching a basketball game on TV:

" 'Why do they do that?' the alien might say. 'It's a game, a competition,' Grant and I would answer. 'But why? Why do they play the game? What are they trying to decide?'

" 'They are trying to decide who is the better basketball team,' Grant and I would say. 'The better basketball team?' the alien might question, wondering out loud why twenty thousand people would show up to find out which basketball team was better than the other.

"Feeling a little judged, Grant and I might change the channel to find that new show on E! called 'Rank,' the show that ranks people from best to worst, based on some random criteria. The episode might count down to who is the most eligible bachelor, who is the hottest couple, who has the best boobs, best eyes, best smile, whatever. Then ... we might turn the channel to that show 'Survivor,' and then over to "The Bachelor,' ...

" 'You guys,' the alien might say, 'you are obsessed. You have to wear a certain kind of clothes, drive a certain car, speak a certain way, live in a certain neighborhood, whatever, all of it so you can be higher on an invisible hierarchy ... You are trying to feel right by comparing yourselves to others ...' "