Jive Monkey Gold: A Tale Of Two Poems
Here's a little something I wrote last summer. Let me remind you that my rip-off of Shakespeare does not reflect the views of me or anyone working here at Jive To The Monkey, but rather is a simple indication of the times in which we live.
I just wrote a sonnet based off of Shakespeare's famous "My Mistress' Eyes Are Nothing Like The Sun." Mine makes a statement about our postmodern society, as opposed to the Bard's world. First, I will share Shakespeare's original with you. Then, mine. I think you will agree that it captures the spirit of the times. Enjoy.
Shakespeare
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks,
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound.
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare
B-Dog
My mistress’ eyes are not much like the sun
(Let’s not confuse the bloodshot lines for light)
They were, before the damage had been done
(the damage caused by drinking shots all night).
Her lips could use some collagen, I guess,
And Botox could do wonders for her face.
Some silicone would sure perk up her breasts,
And Clairol would disguise the telling grays.
Every time she sings, I curse or growl
Because her voice is always sharp or flat.
We can’t eat spicy foods because her bowels
Would cause the air to stink right where she sat.
And yet, by God, my love for her is strong --
And will be, till a hottie comes along.
posted by Bobby @ 5:29 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Bwah ha ha! That was really funny! I love Shakespeare, and you have done a great twist on that sonnet.
Yeah, Shakespeare is great. We have a troupe here in Louisville that does "Free Will in Central Park" every summer -- two plays each year. Good stuff.
I used to write a lot of sonnets before I got more into worship songwriting. That's probably one reason I write so many original hymns as opposed to the looser modern worship lyrics -- I like the structured meter.
Very cool. I guess this answers my question, huh? All of my older stuff is very structured. I have only recently tried my hand at some "free style" poetry.
I do love the hymns. They have so much more depth and doctrine to them than the modern stuff. I'd like to see some of your work!
if you like hymns try lookin up Horatius Bonar
I'll send you some stuff.
I do like many modern worship songs, but as a whole, I think the modern worship movement has strayed too far from Paul's admonition to speak to each other and teach each other through music. There are so many worship songs that concentrate on the "warm fuzzies" and don't really tell the Story that we're supposed to keep telling each other and the world.
Not that every song has to be really deep -- I just think, as a whole, the lyrics that the Church is writing today do not compare well with that of previous generations.
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