Here's a new hymn text I wrote Wednesday night. I added a chorus and reworked the verses last night. Still probably will go through a few more drafts. The melody right now has an up-tempo Caedmonesque feel to it. The verses are 11-11-11-11- meter, same as such hymns as "My Jesus, I Love Thee," "I'd Rather Have Jesus," "Away In A Manger," "How Firm A Foundation," and "Thy Mercy, My God" (so basically, for your own purposes at home, you could use the melody to any of those songs and it would fit with these new verses. My chorus, however,is unmetered):
We have a high priest and He sits on His throne,
And we can approach Him through His grace alone.
Unmerited favor -- grace cannot be won.
But it flows so free through the blood of the Son.
Pardon! Forgiveness! Sacrificial
love:
That’s grace, and it’s always enough.
Not with our own minds or the work of our hands
Can we close the distance between God and man.
We're filthy with pride; He is perfect and pure.
His grace reaches down, pulls us to heaven’s shore.
repeat chorus
Lord, we have dishonored the wine and the bread --
Your body so battered, the blood that you shed.
We've partaken lightly, left so cavalier,
Lord, by Your same grace, may You teach Godly fear.
repeat chorus
Now thankful for grace, for salvation so sweet,
We take to the world and the nearest dark street.
Invoking the Light and proclaiming the Way,
Transformed by God's love and in love with God's grace.
repeat chorus
posted by Bobby @ 5:36 AM
13 comments
13 Comments:
I really like the last verse. Tell us about the logical progression (lyrically) of the verses. I'm having a hard time seeing how/why they fit/relate to each other in that order, or if they do...
Good work.
I know what you're asking -- many of my hymns have a story-arc, a progression that relates events-in-time: for instance cross, then resurrection, then ascension, then Second Coming.
This one's a little more propositional. But here's my thoughts on the progression:
The first verse is my intro. It's going to be a song about grace, so the verse tells what grace is (unmerited favor) and how/why this grace is extended to us (the blood of the son).
The second verse -- think of it as a flashback (if we're thinking in terms of movies or novels). It contrasts the holiness of God with our total depravity. It says "we could never bridge that gap between a holy God and our fallenness. So God, in His grace, does it for us). I thought about putting this verse first, because that would make the song fit closer into a standard "Roman's Road" type of format.
But it just didn't seem to work for me. The first verse feels like the first verse. I kind of like the second as a flashback or an elaboration. But maybe it's confusing?
So the first and second verses tell us why/how we are saved. In the third verse, we (as characters in this story-song) have been saved. But, like we tend to do in "real life", we grow cold. We go through the motions of the Lord's Supper, not really appreciating what it all means. We partake of it lightly, with a cavalier attitude, marching up to the bread and the wine while we're thinking about how the band is sounding particularly good today, or we're wondering if we have enough cash to do dinner and a movie tonight.
So the final line asks God to renew the fear, i.e., respect of the Lord in us. And it understands that God's chastisment is also an aspect of grace -- it's a necessary corrective measure. If God didn't really love us, He wouldn't correct us. Kind of the whole, "Son, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you" thing.
The last verse is totally linear. Now that we have been saved by grace, now that we are thankful for grace, grateful for the blood, and willing to let it work in us, we are sent by the Spirit out into the world, to the dark streets, to share this grace with others.
So anyway, that's where I was coming from.
Perhaps either the first or second verse could be deleted entirely, without losing any of the meaning, and thereby making it more logically progressive/ linear?
Bobby, I really wish I could hear all these great songs of yours with the music. Maybe you could record a CD for me?? Pretty please? Ya' know, nothing fancy. Just you and guitar or keyboard or whatever so I can hear how they go.
I'll see what I can do. Let me reach into my bag of tricks ....
I'm thinking of maybe deleting that second verse.
Or combining the first two lines of the first verse with the last two lines of the second verse. Or the first two lines of the second verse with the last two lines of the first verse.
But either way, it would have the effect of leaving me with three verses instead of four.
I like your emphasis on God's grace and God's reaching out.
Interesting though, it's your second verse that first pulled me to your song.
These are some moving lyrics, brother. Good depth to them.
Here is an updated version of the song. It's shorter, streamlined, but hopefully hasn't lost any meaning. And I think the bread and wine verse is a bit clearer now:
The favor of God cannot be bought or won,
But it flows so free through the blood of the Son.
We're filthy with pride; He is perfect and pure.
His grace reaches down, makes our salvation sure.
CHORUS
Pardon! Forgiveness! Sacrificial Love!
That's grace and it's always enough.
Lord we have grown cold to the wine and the bread --
Your body so battered, the blood that you shed.
We take it for granted, become cavalier.
Don't let us forget what we once held so dear ...
REPEAT CHORUS
Now thankful for grace and election so sweet,
We take to the world and the nearest dark street,
Invoking the Light and proclaiming the Way,
Transformed by God's love and in love with God's grace
REPEAT CHORUS
But after some serious arm-twisting on me by my editor and collaborator, I have decided to swap the word "salvation" on the fourth line of the first verse with "election" on the first line of the third verse. Not that she's the boss of me. 8-)
His grace reaches down, makes our election sure
and
Now thankful for grace and salvation so sweet.
that is absolutely beautiful bobby. you are extremely gifted!
Thanks guys! I mean "guys" in the non-gender specific way of course. Or, um ... thanks ladies.
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