Ok, forget what I said about not writing a new blog column till tomorrow. I won't be writing anything SPECIFICALLY for this blog till tomorrow, but here's a new hymn text I wrote last night in 7-7-7-6 meter:
I MUST DEPEND ON YOU
Without Your Word to ground me
I’d be tossed upon the wind --
Blowing with philosophies
And drifting into sin.
Plant Your teaching in my heart.
It’s the only thing that’s true.
If I’m to fight deception,
I must depend on you.
Without Your Holy Spirit
I would not know how to pray --
Oft I groan deep in my soul
When lost for words to say.
Make my prayer effectual
When my feelings are confused.
Spirit, intercede for me.
I must depend on You.
Without Your blessed promise
I’d be terrified to die --
Not assured a God who cares
Will wipe tears from my eyes.
Never let my heart forget
I’ve a home beyond the blue
And a Father beckoning;
I must depend on You.
Without Your voice to send me
I would not know where to go --
Which doors I should open wide
Or which seed I should sow.
Lord, I am willing, ready
And the workers are so few.
Give me wisdom, guide my feet;
I must depend on You.
c. Bobby Gilles, 2006
posted by Bobby @ 7:17 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
So I'm not sure about "oft I groan within my soul" because of the "oft." Maybe "Often groaning in my soul/ I'm lost for words to say."
Something like that.
Good work, KK! Some of my suggestions (I thought I'd let people in on the process):
Without Your Word to ground me
I’d be tossed upon the wind --
Blown on by philosophies
And drifting into sin...
...Oft I groan deep in my soul
At loss for words to say.
Make my prayers effectual
When my feelings are confused...
Without Your blessed promise
I’d be terrified to die --
Unassured or Not sure that a God who cares
Will wipe tears from my eyes...
I'm not sure I like "blown on by." What about "carried by"?
I like those other suggestions. Actually my hand-written copy said "Make my prayers effectual" but I accidentally left the "s" off of "prayers" when I typed it.
"Unassured a God who cares ..." I like that one.
And if I changed the third line to "carried by philosophies," what if I changed the fourth to "careening into sin"?
And then, in the last verse, what if, instead of using "doors" as a metaphor in one line and sowing seed as another metaphor in the next line, I stuck with the first metaphor and changed it to:
Which doors I should open wide
And which ones I should close
I like the metaphorical consistency, although I also love the "which seed I should sow" line and am loathe to give it up.
"Carried by philosophies" is good. And I like "drifting into sin" because it goes along with that passage about how we're enticed away by our own evil desires.
I will say, the mixed metaphors did stick out and I had to go back and read it a few times before deciding I could live with it. :)It may be better just to stick with one. Although I do like the seed line, too...
Anyone else have two cents?
Right now I'm leaning toward changing "Or which seed I should sow" for "And which ones I should close" (line four of the last verse).
It just keeps things more consistent. Plus, logically, we KNOW which seed we should sow -- the gospel. What I had meant was more like "Where should I sow the seed of the gospel?" So I think it's best to just follow through with the door metaphor from line three and couple it with "And which ones I should close."
But does anyone have a different view, or any thoughts on another part of the song, or the song as a whole?
Two cents:
I'm for:
carried with philosophies (because often we just hop on for the ride not knowing the destination they will lead, if there is any)
drifting into sin (again the idea of not having a direction, a true north if you will, we drift aimlessly to what is most attractive at the moment)
and I agree with keeping the metaphor of doors intact
p.s. I like this a lot
my two cents:
I agree with Katie!
P.S. Does anyone else ever mess up the word verification like 3 times before they actually post their comment? It's probably just me!
Hey! Have any of the lyrics you've written been put to music? Just curious.
Charley! Have ya'll been visiting my blog, too? If not, I'm going to feel slighted...
Give your wife a big "hello" for me.
Emily, I mess up those word verifications all the time.
Charlie, I write melodies for them on occasion, but other times I farm them off to musicians/ writers to see what melodies they'll come up with. For instance, this song and the last one I posted were given to others to see what melodies they could come up with. But I wrote my own melody for the one three songs back.
One advantage of writing hymn-style (a set meter, which means you have a certain # of stresses/syllables per line) is that when you write in an established hymn meter, you guarantee that you will be able to find a melody that will "fit" the lyrics.
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