Jive Monkey Gold: Enter The Nightrider

Enter The Nightrider

There is a group of superheroes, ladies and gentlemen, living in the very environs of Kentuckiana. They call themselves The Nightriders.
I am one of them.
I cannot reveal the names of the others but some of you have seen them. Some of them have been to this blog, although Nightriders are generally not internet-savvy (one is downright ignorant, but we still love her).
What does it mean to be a Nightrider? A Nightrider is, first and foremost, someone who grew up, came of age, or was born in, the 1980s. They take their name from the 80s TV show "Knightrider," featuring David Hasselhoff and the talking car "Kit." (I realize the show was spelled "Knightrider" but we call ourselves "Nightriders." It is a conundrum.)
A Nightrider is strong, brave, and true. Like the Knights of the Round Table, the Three Muskateers, or the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew.
Nightriders stick together. They watch films and play board games -- and eat. Oh yes, they LOVE to eat. When they are not doing these things, they are standing up against evil wherever it is found, and they are stamping it out with their superhero powers. The only weakness they have is a fondness for placing each other on probation, usually when one of them leads the others to watch a movie that turns out to be boring, or talks all of them into driving 50 freaking miles out into the sticks of Kentucky to visit "the scariest Halloween haunted house in America", only to have it turn out to be like some cheesy carny haunted house.
We have a theme song, written by yours truly. I will give you the lyrics now. Just remember: wherever there is evil, wherever there is mayhem, wherever there is a good buffet -- have no fear: WE will be there!

In troublesome times, the world needs a group of heroes.
Super-cool heroes to turn back the tide of evil.
Who is this now, riding through the storm, come to save us?
It's the Nightriders.
It's the Nightriders.

Forged in experiences of the 1980s,
this group of men and ladies, they know how to party.
They know how to paint and dance and write and fight for justice,
They're the Nightriders.
They're the Nightriders.

So if you're down and you need someone to call,
Don't look for Batman or the webslinger crawling on the wall.
Just say "Hey Nightriders, please come and save me!"
Then you'll feel the power of the 1980's.

No matter if Jeff, Louisville, Clarksville, or New Albany,
No thief is safe unless the Nightriders are busy watching TV.
Still, they make you laugh.
You know you want their autographs.
They're the Nightriders.
They're the Nightriders!