Friday, October 27, 2006

Help Me Choose ...

So I wrote a new hymn the other night in 8-6-8-6-8-8-8-6 meter. General comments/critiques are welcome, but I'd especially like your help deciding which way to go in one particular line, which is typed in bold within the body of the song:

In splendid, hallowed temple halls
In courts and crowded streets
Walked priests and teachers of the Law
In pious majesty,
Who loved cold justice, eye for eye,
Who sold forgiveness for a price,
Showed honor to the qualified
And scorn to enemies.

From heaven down to manger stall
The Man of Sorrow came,
The victim of the broken Law
Yet, Name Above All Names,
Who bore the wrath due everyone
For crimes that they, not He, had done,
Forbearing servant -- God the Son
Who wore His mockers' shame.

O gift of Christ; O Holy Ghost
By whom I must forgive,
Who makes my heart His duty-post
And teaches me to live:
O keep the cross before my eyes --
The only fount that purifies --
Forgives me daily and supplies
The grace that I must give.

Now taking up our cross each day,
Like the Anointed One,
For enemies we learn to pray,
Forgiving everyone.
To all the taunts of passers-by
Lord help us bid them, “Come and die,”
That they, like we, may find new life,
And all will live as one.

So now imagine this in place of the line that is bold-typed:

The Lamb and Lion came

Which one? Or do you have a third alternative? If so, it has to be six syllables.

5 Comments:

At Fri Oct 27, 06:13:00 AM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a good song. In that He has not yet come as the Lion, I believe the "Man of Sorrows" fits very well.

(But that is just the opinion of one dispensationalist) :-)

 
At Fri Oct 27, 08:53:00 AM PDT, Blogger Emily said...

I like "man of sorrows" also. No philisophical reason.. i just like it ;)

 
At Fri Oct 27, 11:48:00 AM PDT, Blogger Laura said...

I like "Man of Sorrows," because it's always been one of my favorite descriptions of Christ, but also because of how it sounds -- crisper, maybe, in the stanza? "Lamb and lion" sounds like "lammin' lion," and the D-L sound is really hard to say, and even harder to sing.

 
At Fri Oct 27, 07:15:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome song Robert... I also like the "Man of Sorrows"

 
At Mon Oct 30, 05:50:00 AM PST, Blogger Bobby said...

Looks like it's unanimous -- I love clear-cut decisions. "Man of Sorrows" it is!

 

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