Interview w/ Lorie King about Paris
Good afternoon, you people. Today on Jive To The Monkey, my guest is Lorie King. Lorie has just returned from a week in Paris, a week, no doubt, of high adventure. Everyone, on your feet and give a big Jive To The Monkey welcome to Ms. Lorie King!
Thunderous applause as Lorie enters and sits in a fashionable, high-backed sofa next to the host's desk.
Bobby: Welcome to Jive To The Monkey.
Lorie: Well, I must say, that was quite an applause. Thanks, everybody.
Bobby: Let's get right to business. You know the Eiffel Tower?
Lorie: Yes.
Bobby: Is that real?
Silent Pause
Lorie: Real?
Bobby: The Eiffel Tower.
Lorie: It is real.
Pause
Bobby: How do you know?
Lorie: Huh?
Bobby: Are you sure it's real?
Lorie: I was there.
Bobby: Oh. Okay.
Lorie: Would you like to hear what happened when we --
Bobby: You know the Louvre?
Lorie: Yes.
Bobby: Is that real?
Pause
Lorie: What is this about?
Bobby: So it's not real?
Lorie: I saw the Louvre.
Bobby: You know Notre Dame?
Lorie: It's real.
Bobby: You saw it?
Lorie: I saw it.
Bobby: You know the Bastille?
Lorie: Can I ask if I'm getting paid for this interview?
Bobby: You get a coupon for a free Christmas ham.
Lorie: Oh, okay, well --
Bobby: It's expired, but the butcher can't see very well so he probably won't notice.
Lorie: You know, just let me say, this interview isn't quite what --
Bobby: But don't stand too close to the butcher when he's chopping. Because you know --
Lorie: -- he can't see very well?
Bobby: There have been some, uh, trajedies.
Lorie: Spelling Citation!
Bobby: Huh?
Lorie: You just misspelled "tragedies."
Bobby: Trajedies?
Lorie: You did it again.
Bobby: T-r-a-g-e-d-i-e-s.
Lorie: Yes, but when you say it, you misspell it.
Bobby: How can you know that?
Lorie: Your inflection.
Bobby: Dude, we're talking. This interview won't be transcribed till later. You can't know --
Lorie: Say it.
Bobby: Trajedies.
Lorie: Ha! You misspelled it again.
Bobby: You can't know that.
Lorie: Later, when your assistant types this interview up. It will be misspelled. Every time you say it.
Bobby: Then it's my assistant's mistake.
Lorie: No. She won't misspell it when I say it. Tragedies. See?
Bobby: You're really freaking me out.
Lorie: Say it.
Bobby: No.
Lorie: You can't. You can't say it without misspelling it.
Bobby: My head is spinning, but I'm still clear enough to know that your logic is somehow all wrong here.
Lorie: You misspell it every time. Tragedies.
Bobby: Trajedies.
Lorie: Ha!
Bobby: Get out of my show.
Lorie: (gets up, starts to leave) Thanks for your time. Tragedies.
Bobby: Trajedies.
Lorie: Ha!
The End
(Ms. Lorie King can be read at http:lorieking.blogspot.com)
posted by Bobby @ 7:11 AM
16 comments
16 Comments:
that's funny. seriously. so why does Lorie get an interview? what about the Davises and I? (by the way, the Bastille is no longer there).
that's funny. seriously. so why does Lorie get an interview? what about the Davises and I? (by the way, the Bastille is no longer there).
oops
Actually, Old Bean, if you would have read my "Friends In Paris" column, you would have seen that I had already secured an interview with the media-savvy King, and intended to follow it in successive weeks with interviews involving you and the Davis's. I noted that these interviews would show that you Frenchies cannot be trusted to keep your stories straight. As we have just seen:
Lorie said the Bastille is real. You say it is not. May the Lord judge between you.
Actually, Little B-dog Bean, if you will kindly review the transcript of our interview, you will see that I said no such thing.
ok, OLD bean? really now. shall we compare birth dates now or would you prefer to do so in private?
Lorie: It was implied. You wouldn't have taken the conversation off in a tangent if you were prepared to agree with Cheryl that the Bastille is not for real.
Trajedies. Doggone you.
Cheryl: "Old Bean" is merely a slang title. It does not imply a certain age. But let it be known that I am vigorously youthful.
slang title? what version of slang is that? proper British slang? you rebel.
the Bastille is real in a historical sense, it just does not happen to still be standing. however there is the Place de la Basille (actually not sure the "la" is supposed to be there, but it makes gramatical sense that it would be...), which is were the Bastille was standing. besides, your question was not "is the Bastille real" it was " do you know the Bastille." how could the innocent and upright Lorie King truly know an infamous prison? how dare you imply such a thing? were it still standing she may have aquainted herself with it in a casual, torristy sort of way, but to imply that she would know a prison was entirely out of line, Mr. Gilles (spanish pronunciation).
I'm not sure any person, even Lorie, could know the Bastille in a torristy way. Maybe aliens. Since, of course, "torristy" is a word that is completely alien to all known human language.
ok, so the only problem with not being one of you nerdy blogger people is that i can't edit my posts. sigh. torristy it shall remain.
-resident alien
Isn't Lorie King the coolest person you've ever met? She needs to come hang out with me more often and be my best friend!
She is.
You'll have to fight me over her. Or we could work out a custody agreement.
Haro!
Wow, you guys sure do love talking about nothing. Old bean?!? I didn't know people outside of feudal England still said that.
If you want a laugh or too and maybe a good time, check out my blog www.iamdirkfung.blogspot.com
I'm no Chow Yun Fat, but I can make a mean mixed noodaw with vegetabaw and pok.
Dirk Fung.
What a thread!!!! ALmost brought a tear to my eye, but I need to save them as I'm sure I will need them by the time I get off work!
Dirk: I will check it out if there's anything left of me after fighting Nikki over Lorie's friendship. I have a slight size advantage, but Nikki is A Secret Weapon.
And yes, we are the the best at what we do -- talking about nothing.
Tom: would you like a hankie?
Nicely said B-dog. Seizure later...
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