Monday, March 28, 2005

A Little Afternoon Poetry

Usually I post a classical poem, but today I thought I'd share something more contemporary. This poem utilizes a female narrator who is watching her little girl navigate through those "in between childhood and adulthood" years. Note the crisp imagery, and strong verbs that don't need adverbs. Opinions?

Girl in the Doorway by Dorianne Laux
GIRL IN THE DOORWAY

She is twelve now, the door to her room
closed, telephone cord trailing the hallway
in tight curls. I stand at the dryer, listening
through the thin wall between us, her voice
rising and falling as she describes her new life.
Static flies in brief blue stars from her socks,
her hairbrush in the morning. Her silver braces
shine inside the velvet case of her mouth.
Her grades rise and fall, her friends call
or they don't, her dog chews her new shoes
to a canvas pulp. Some days she opens her door
and musk rises from the long crease in her bed,
fills the dim hall. She grabs a denim coat
and drags the floor. Dust swirls in gold eddies
behind her. She walks through the house, a goddess,
each window pulsing with summer. Outside,
the boys wait for her teeth to straighten.
They have a vibrant patience.
When she steps onto the front porch, sun shimmies
through the tips of her hair, the V of her legs,
fans out like wings under her arms
as she raises them and waves. Goodbye, Goodbye.
Then she turns to go, folds up
all that light in her arms like a blanket
and takes it with her.

6 Comments:

At Tue Mar 29, 12:02:00 PM PST, Blogger Tom said...

Wow good writing man, very visual from start to finish.

 
At Tue Mar 29, 12:10:00 PM PST, Blogger Bobby said...

Yes. I should read more poems by Laux; I like her use of metaphor.

 
At Wed Mar 30, 05:53:00 AM PST, Blogger Bobby said...

Well, since I'm only, what ... 24? I guess it's not much of a stretch ....

 
At Wed Mar 30, 06:00:00 AM PST, Blogger Bobby said...

ATTENTION PEOPLE:

There has been a problem with blogspot.com. I am unable to post a new column, thus, the reason you do not see the promised Woody Guthrie Lyric Review. I'll get to it ASAP.

I also intended to write a column plugging Guitar Chick Nikki's show tomorrow night at the NEW Java on Frankfort from 7:30-9:30 pm. The address is 2309 Frankfort-it's 2 doors down from The Irish Rover. That's THIS THURSDAY, people. Due to wild horses dragging me away, I will not be able to see the show, which makes it EVEN MORE IMPORTANT FOR YOU MONKEY MANIACS TO GO!!! That way, you can tell me all about it.
Nikki is a rising star people -- check her out and one day you'll be able to say you knew her when.

For more info go to her blog: http://nikkitatom.blogspot.com
You can also check out her new website at www.nikkitatom.com You'll find a concert schedule, bio, and plenty of cool pics, including quite a few from regular Jive To The Monkey commentator Cheryl Rupp.

 
At Wed Mar 30, 06:38:00 AM PST, Blogger Lorie said...

I think it's her choice of nouns and adjectives that make her poetry so vibrant and imagistic.

...plus the use of a few choice verbs like "shimmies" and "crackles" (isn't that last one in there somewhere)?

 
At Wed Mar 30, 06:49:00 AM PST, Blogger Bobby said...

Not "crackles" but there are plenty of strong verbs like "swirls" and "pulsing." I'd also agree about the nouns and adjectives.

 

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