Mailbag

Time to dip into the mailbag again, folks. All of B-Dogs peeps have been writing in like crazy -- cards, letters, boxes of home made fudge ... there's just no end to all the Jive To The Monkey fan mail. Most of the letters are too redundant, and some are too personal, but here are a couple of fan letters I've received recently, along with my answers.

Dear B-Dog:
Jive To The Monkey is my favorite blog. It has given me new hope in humanity. I was just wondering if you could describe your physical fitness regimen.

Sincerely,
Toodlepip Farnsworth

Dear Toodlepip:

Thanks for the kind words. But think about it. When you dance around 24/7 with a monkey on your back, you don't really need to do any other exercises, now do you? Of course, as a former professional wrestling superstar villain, I am no stranger to intense fitness programs. I still lift a dumbbell every now and then. It's just that most of the dumbbells I deal with these days are people who think Prince is a true music legend.

Dear Bobby:
Why do some people call you "Gui-yas" or "Gilles, the Spanish spelling way"? Why not call you B-Dog, like the masses do?

Yours Truly,
Mandy Coruthers

Dear Mandy:

If only I knew. All we can do is pray for them.

Yo B-Dog:
I'm down with ya, bro. You all that.

Word
Zepheniah Wiggleton

Zeph: I appreciate you keeping it real.

Dear B-Dog:

I am twelve years old. I want to be just like you when I'm older. What do I have to do? What should my studies focus on?

Love,
Erica Larsen

Dear Erica:

I hope by "just like me," you don't mean "a man." B-Dog is all man, you know. Shaved armpits nothwithstanding.
Read everything. If you see words on something, read it. When you get hungry, go eat. Then get back to reading. Let me know how it turns out.

That's all the time I have for now, people. Keep all the cards and letters coming. Send them to B-Dog
c/o Jive To The Monkey
928 Capitol Hill Drive
Jeffersonville, IN 47130
I may use your letter in this very forum. No guarantees, though.