Blessings On The Faithful
This is the column where I bless those of you who regularly comment -- you Monkey Maniacs.
Jason R: May the good Lord give you a woman. May she not figure out that you're crazy. May you live in happiness with her, never being tempted to the right or to the left when you're cruising the aisles of Home Depot. May God preserve your fingers so you can continue typing.
Christa: May you never, never again post something as gross as the "reason why you shouldn't do internet dating." But may you tell me if you do, since I am drawn to gross things with a macabre fascination. May you be doubly blessed since you just gave me reason to use one of my favorite words, "macabre." May you continue to produce, and love, poetry and music.
Will: May you never actually have a seizure, which would be painfully ironic since your salutation is "Seizure later." May you find peace in your old age with Twana, and may people not think she is your daughter. And may you help me bring to justice those who stole my rabbit and tiger. Nightriders -- long may they reign!
Sarah: May you post for often, and may you not write French words when you do. May you and your son prosper, as you continue to rise further and further away from the ashes of the dreadful place you've been (which place I too know well).
E Machine: May you not regret for the rest of your life that you made other plans on the day that Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson came to Louisville -- perhaps for the last time? Who knows? May you continue to be cool beyond your years, and strong in the faith.
Brian: May heaven for you be a place of cows and puns, a place where you can milk a good joke for all it's worth, and the saints will laugh along in all the right places. Meanwhile, here on earth, may anyone who has a beef with you be turned from their wrath.
Cheryl: May you stay forever random. May you not be devoured my geese. Indeed, may you learn to live in peace with the geese, and may this peace be seen by all as a shining example of how the Lord prepares a table for the faithful in the midst of their enemies. May you continue to be affable and welcoming, so that more and more are drawn into the family through you.
Nikki: When Patty Griffin writes her memoirs, may she ask you to contribue the forward. May you continue to grow as a performer, a writer, and a person. May you not be e-stalked through your blog. May you continue your meaningful contribution to the Church, wherever the wind takes you.
Dr. Tom: May the Happy Haiku Fairy continue to sprinkle her magic dust upon your brow. May you find an elixir to bring you peace and contentment. May you continue to advance the cause of beauty through your photography, and may you find answers to your questions. Also, may you find the job you're looking for.
Joel The Metro: May you not be dealt with, ever so severely, by the Lord of Hosts for kidnapping my stuffed animals and holding them ransom for 1.5 million dollars, which I have not been able to muster SINCE NOT ONE FREAKING MONKEY MANIAC has helped me raise the funds. May you not grow a nose a half-mile long since you continue to deny this crime. May you and your wife share many years of blessed contentment, and may you produce great art. Nightriders -- long may they reign!
Lorie: May you find love and not be too dense to recognize it. May words, correctly spelled words, always surround and enfold you ... words in English, Portuguese, Farsi, Spanish, etc., etc. May your love of language, justice, and truth be a blessing to those 'round about you. May you never have a shortage of grammatical errors to correct, as this will keep you sharp and keep others afraid of you. To be both feared and loved -- this is your lot. May you continue to be awesome but not let it go to your head. May Kenny G play at your wedding, and may all the guests adore you so much that they stay anyway.
Now, to you birds who check this forum out but don't comment: don't you wish you did? Because then you, too, would have received a blessing from B-Dog. But there will be other times ....
posted by Bobby @ 6:30 AM
21 comments
21 Comments:
And Bobby you too are a blessing to have as well. You help fight the powers of the spelling force known as Lorie, and you have let nuggets of spiritual truth slip every now and then between, well your other not so spiritual sayings.
Yes, Bobby. May you always have a harmonica in your pocket. May you always yell out "Down in the Flood" as Java requests. May you always be so generous to give away free cans 'o corn.
You, my friend, are a blessing.
Awww, thanks guys! I am so blessed to know all of you. And I left something out of my post -- a blanket blessing for each of you, from Mr. Bob Dylan, who is COMING TO LOUISVILLE on June 29th. Tickets on sale May 14!!!
May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.
May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.
May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.
Forever Young, c. Bob Dylan
Dude, I started a thread about this at the Sojourn website.
Tix are $49.50, and all seats are general admission. Kids 12 and under get in free. It's Dylan, Willie Nelson, and The Greencards. For all that, I'm surprised the tickets are so cheap.
It's at Slugger Field, btw.
That concert will be awesome, but I just can't justify spending $50 on something I don't need at this point. Especially after I had to charge a $400 bill for a brake pad replacement and a rattling noise. That's cool that kids under 12 get in free. Anthony (my Little) would probably enjoy it. I think he mostly listens to rap and R&B, but he loves the Sojourn albums. Of course, he probably wouldn't really appreciate until later, but then he could look back and say, "I saw Bob Dylan live."
And I can't resist replying to Bobby's blessing to me...
May the good Lord give you a woman.
Well, if the Lord is good, he won't make a woman spend the rest of her life with me...
May she not figure out that you're crazy.
And that's why. ;)
I just happened upon your blog randomly, so I missed out on your "blessings." I enjoyed reading them though.
Geeze Jason ya that hard on yourself? See im the other way around, I let them know im crazy right u front, well let everyone know that...see then there are no relationship breaking secrets. TInk about it.
And Cheryl....pass for 12 with pig tails? I wouldn't say 12, maybe a lil older. Funny thought though.
Now acting 12....I think we all get the group discount for that....even Lorie :)
Bobby still owes several cans of corn to folks, I might start calling the Corn Collectors to come after ya.
Tom why are you posting such wild comments on a blog that is not even yours....wait a minute
Jamie Dawn: may you one day have a passport photo that does you justice, or at least doesn't make you look like a corpse.
May you (and me) one day witness a new comedy as great as Seinfeld.
May you and your daughter dwell safely and have many great adventures.
Cool blog, btw. Stop by mine anytime!
Bobarino,
May you find peace with never, ever, ever (please?) again having long hair.
Not that I mind long hair on some people...but mullets are out, my man. Even permed ones. (Oooh, it grosses me out to even type that.)
:) We're thankful for you, too.
I NEVER INTENTIONALLY HAD A MULLET!
But you don't have to worry. God has smitten my hair. The only sense I can make out of it is that my thick, curly, flowing locks must simply have been too tempting to the ladies. The Lord wanted to protect them from carnal thoughts so he turned me into a short-haired goober.
I should keep count of all the nicknames you thrust upon me to avoid giving me my proper due by calling me B-Dog. Love Caddy B-Dog. Love Caddy B-Dog The Forlorn Moonpuppy.
Could you answer the obvious question... How does one unintentially grow a mullet?
Bdog... why would someone think that Twana would be my daughter? I know that I'm looking older but come on... Where's the love? Seizure later...
Bdog... why would someone think that Twana would be my daughter? I know that I'm looking older but come on... Where's the love? Seizure later...
About 1.5 years ago I decided to grow my hair out again after several years of short hair. It grew thick and wavy in the back, as before, but the sides and front? Well, let's just say a little condition known as "receding hair line" interfered with my plans. For a few months I pretended like it wasn't happening, which meant that I basically looked like I had chosen to grow a mullett.
Will: I was refering to the beauty and grace of your amore, rather than to any real or perceived ancient appearance on your part.
Thank you for your encouragement! I hope for brighter days ahead for ALL of us that are trying to rise from the ashes. And that Lorie, and not Kenny G, will sing at all of our weddings. Again (see Cheryl's blog), I am offerring my unconditional love and support to Lorie by saying that I was a big Kenny G fan.
Have you heard of KGA? Kenny G Anonymous? It's a 12-step program to fix the little problem you guys have. I think they're having sign-ups for it at the Y.
Zut alors! Kenny G Anonymous?
You brought that French exclamation upon yourself, my friend.
Keep it up and I will have to bust out something from the Wicked French phrase book I bought in high school.
Bdog, what does "YOUR" receding hair line have to do with me? Actually, I should have one, I'm about 11 years older than you. I can't help that you actually look older than me. So don't be a player hater. By the way, Rabbi and Tigie told me tonight on my way home from Cheddar's (I ran into them at Wal-Mart) that they are having the time of their life being away from you. They love not having to deal with your poor attitude and always making them feel less than human. I told them that I would relay the message, that I too have been seeing your poor attitude towards the people you were suppose to be friends with. Let's hope that since we've brought this to your attention you can work on your people skills. Seizure later...
Sarah and Will: I have blessed you, and you have repaid me with MEANNESS!!!
Next time, your blessing will consist only of this: "May the bird of paradise fly up your nose."
BTW, Will, you saw a rabbi with Tigey? I didn't know Tigey was Jewish. After all these years ... you think you know someone!
That's funny... your blessings sound just like insults. Do you know the difference or are you just dazed and confused? Seizure later...
What? You, like Esau, care not for your blessing? You despise your birthright?
Oh, the shame.
You forget that I blessed you with peace! Peace! That's not a bad thing, that's a good thing, ol' buddy!
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