"Nature Boy" Jason Hall: Friend of the Day
There's this guy that posts comments here at Jive To The Monkey. His name is Jason "The Damage" Ramage. He gets a lot of great ideas when he's sitting on his toilet. We're going to launch a relationship show together, since we obviously are both so great with the ladies.
There's this other Jason that gets jive with monkeys a lot. He checks out this blog from time to time, but he never posts. Always under the surface, that one. That's the kind you have to watch out for. Nevertheless, his name is Jason Hall, and he is the first recipient of my new Friend of the Day award. This post will honor him.
First off, Jason can't be all bad because he makes my best buddy Stacey very happy.
Second, if you were to see Jason -- like, if I were not too stupid to know how to post pictures on this blog -- he looks like someone who would be into maybe punk, emo, alt rock, or something. Maybe even hip hop. So, when I first met Jason (Stacey had ordered him out of a catalog because she wasn't having any luck in the dating world), I was very surprised, as were all the Nightriders (my superhero friends) to find that Jason's favorite kind of music is country. OLD country. Classic country. So I wrote this song about him. It's a slow/medium song with a very country beat. The lyrics:
His name is Jason, and like the Free Masons he's a little bit hard to read.
His appearance says "New York City" but his music says "Tennessee."
Ain't got no boots, no big belt buckle. Ain't even got a hat.
But he's sure 'nuff got some ear-rings and tattoo -- how 'bout that!
Jason, tell me son, how'd your image get so out of whack?
Don'cha know at the Grand Ol' Opry you could get whipped for looking like that?
You'd expect him to dig the Ramones,
The Butthole Surfers or at least the Stones,
Instead he talkin' 'bout ol' George Jones ....
Yodel-a-he-who, Yodel-a-he-who, Yodel-a-he.
Yodel-a-he, Yodel-a-he, yay-e-he!
Another thing about this man, I may as well get off my chest:
If he tries to tell you 'bout a haunted house, tell him to give it a rest.
He made us drive way below Danville. Let me tell you what I saw --
That haunted house was just as corny as a marathon of Hee Haw.
Jason, tell me son, how'd your image get so out of whack?
Don'cha know at the Grand Ol' Opry you could get whipped for looking like that?
You'd expect him to like the Flaming Lips,
The Clash, Green Day, or at least the Misfits,
But he prefers the way ol' Hank did it ....
Yodel-a-he-who, Yodel-a-he-who, Yodel-a-he.
Yodel-a-he, Yodel-a-he, yay-e-he!
Well, I guess these insults been kinda' stiff,
I prob'ly should ease up so ya don't get miffed,
'cause after all, look who you're stuck with .....
Yodel-a-he-who, Yodel-a-he-who, Yodel-a-he!!!!!
Happy Friend of the Day day, Nature Boy! Yeehaw!
posted by Bobby @ 8:47 PM
13 comments
13 Comments:
Dude I cannot even begin to find the words.
Dear Dr. Tom:
One day, you may win the coveted Jive To The Monkey Friend Of The Day Award. And should that happen, I am going to relish the opportunity to prepare a speech for it.
And please DO write a song. :)
Just don't make it country or rap
It will most assuredly not be rap.
How can a Willie Nelson fan not want a country song written about him?
I'll try not to write in the style of Dylan though. I'll never forget Tom's classic line about Dylan:
"Never heard the guy."
nah make mine and 80's metal/hair band song....but I gotta hear the tune.....or something to bagpipes and some celtic drums....that would rock, somehting like Clan an Drumma
Jason Who Will Not Post and I are both wearing NancyBoy bright-colored shirts with pastel pink stripes today.
We are part of the Four Horsemen Of Metrosexuality. In and of ourselves, we are a sign of the Last Days. (The other Horsemen being, of course, Joel The Metro, who stole my bunny, and Willy Will Wyman).
Why do I see you and Jason singing and dancing together to "boots" by nancy sinatra?
Actually we've been known to strike up a Randy Travis tune together. See, when I wrote the country song about him, I wasn't mocking country music per se, because I like plenty of country songs. I was mocking the fact that we were all so wrong about what kind of music he would like, based on his appearance, and based on the fact that his girl has such an abhorent taste in music.
Who has an abhorent taste in music?
His girl. One Stacey Lynn Schneider, aka "Pinhead," aka "Tiny Dancer," aka "Dogcheese."
I could name others who fit the bill as well, but she was the one to whom I referred. You other people with bad tastes in music, you know who you are.
Nice write up on "J". Ya'll come back now, ya hear! Seizure later...
Thanks Will. And, because you own a CD that has "Summer of '69" on it by Bryan Adams, you don't fall into the "abhorent music" category, your other favorites notwithstanding.
Nightriders, long may they reign!
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