Why all the premarital sex?
Christian efforts to pinpoint a cause for the epidemic of premarital sex, especially among teens and 20-somethings, often center on things like dirty movies, song lyrics, magazines, billboards, TV shows, revealing clothing, risque internet sites and the porn industry. But while these things are certainly symptomatic of moral perversion, the biggest danger may be from within, not without.
People are, and always have been, driven to have sex beginning in their teens or early twenties. Until recent decades, this wasn't a problem because most people married in their teens or early twenties.
Now, people are delaying marriages until their late twenties or even well into their 30s because our technogolical economy and, dare I say it, our materialistic desires (which we call "security," "comfort," or our reasonable "right to pursue happiness") require that we stay in school longer and stay single so we will have an easier time paying down our education loans, and the fruits of our desire to sow our oats, see the world, buy cool cars, fancy clothes, and all kinds of gadgets. In short, we think we can't afford to get married -- even that it would be irresponsible to get married until we've acquired a certain amount of "stuff," and possibly even until we've bought our own house and furnished it.
And of course, we can't struggle. Because marriage is enough of a struggle as it is. So we can't get married until we immediately possess everything our parents took 20 to 40 years to possess. Not to mention those Joneses. And of course, even after marriage, the couple (or at least the husband) should bring home a certain amount of bacon to feed our materialism, so he must work longer and longer, investing more of his life into his work and those who share his work with him, and less to his family.
But I digress. The chief topic here, premarital sex, can be examined in the light of this desire for later marriages. Without the special grace of God, and total commitment to His Word, average people, no matter how "good" they are, simply cannot abstain from sex throughout this period when their biological urges are strongest (which also happens to be at a period when they have not yet reached full emotional maturity). They will have sex, as their married ancestors did, in their teens or early twenties.
This is not an excuse. Christian singles, regardless of age, must continue to hold themselves and each other accountable to God's law. But as far as the whole of society, as long as the average age of marriage keeps shooting higher and higher, premarital sex rates are likely to rise.
posted by Bobby @ 6:33 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
From my own struggles with sexual purity, well I never had those words together until I started back into church nearly a year ago. But now I see it's deeper than just lust and sexual desires...its pride and our seeking to pleasure ourselves.
Don't get me wrong it is a great thing to desire, within context of God. SO yes there are many stimulatns out there that tend to increase desire for sex yet it is internal in the fact we can't see past our ownselves and see God or our partner through eyes other than our own desires.
It is a very difficult struggle. But it's a war to be fought on several sides ant not just head on battline "premarital sex"
After realizing that my best friends from high school had been having sex for about as long as they had been dating, I went through a period of thinking about questions like this, and whether waiting for marriage is really necessary. I think the Sexual Revolution changed so many attitudes. It's not like this stuff didn't happen "back in the good ol' days," but without contraceptives there was a legitamite reason for couples to avoid sex whether they were Christian or not, especially if college or careers were in the picture. And if pregnancy did occure, they were probably more likely to go ahead and get married.
Now you can "get away with it" because contraceptives effectively eliminate the baby-making part about sex, which comes with responsibilities, and it's cheapened to something done for the fun of it. But God wants us to enjoy life to the fullest and that includes saving sex for marriage when it can be fully appreciated.
I'll also throw out there that I see some value in the choice to avoid contraceptives (unless there are health reasons for not wanting pregnancy). Most people today think that's ridiculous, but if we know that God is looking out for us, why are we worried about having what we think is too many kids?
Good thoughts! The whole working thing-- I think it is good for a guy to work :). I mean, not for the purpose of keeping up with the Joneses or for making sure that his wife and kids can live the American dream. But money is a necessity if they want to have kids. I agree to getting married earlier than not! It only gets more diffictult to wait the older one gets...
Yes, definitely he should work. Even if he's independently wealthy, he should work (perhaps for a charity in that case, but nevertheless, he should not be idle). A guy who won't show initiative with work will not show initiative in a relationship, once the "new" wears off of it.
But I think materialism is a huge problem, not only in America, but in the Church. And women often sell themselves short by choosing someone who will honor his career or the stuff his career affords more than he will honor his wife. Why? Because she also has given into the "happiness waits at the Stuff-Mart" mentality" (That's some Veggie Tales for ya.)
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