Good Citizens Beware

The Nightriders are all busted up following Independence Day in-fighting, so we will not be able to defend you all from the clutches of evil.

First, I went to Joel and Amanda's party but had to leave early to attend my aunt's festivities. When I got out of the pool and was drying off on the deck, Jason and Joel did their expected attack and tried to beat me up and throw me in the pool because of the animosity that has been building since last summer (I may have pulled some pranks on them, and I may have been gloating about it all winter).

Anyway, as soon as they lunged at me I dropped down on the deck and grabbed the bottom rail. Jason went down with me so I put him in an ankle lock. I had both my legs scissored around his left leg and my right arm locked in tight around the ankle of the same leg. I was attached like glue to his leg so for Joel to throw me in the pool he'd have had to be strong enough to drag me AND Jason over there and throw us both in. He kept trying to pry me off Jason's leg, while that evil Stacey started pulling my chest hair. I was screaming, as Joel puts it, "like a little girl" because of the hair-pulling, but I wouldn't let go of Jason's leg so they eventually gave up and said they'd get me next time.

At my aunt's house, my youngest cousin was laid up in the house all day because he had pulled his groin Monday playing wiffle ball. I had a good deal of fun at his expense, with my claim that "no one really understands just how dangerous wiffle ball can be until something like this happens."

Now, the ironic thing about me putting Jason in an ankle lock and making fun of Daniel's groin injury is that later on I was playing volleyball with my other cousins, and I collided with cousin Andrew. His knee slammed right into my calf/shin. OWWWW! I was hobbling around but continued to play. Then a few minutes later I jumped for a ball and when I came down my uninjured leg slipped on the grass, sending me down backwards with the sore leg bent backwards, pinned underneath me. I could tell everyone thought I'd broke my leg because it was a scary-looking fall, but I was fortunate. I got back up and played some more, although I shouldn't have. My leg throbbed all night, although it didn't bruise or swell. It still hurts now when I try to move my ankle or when I walk on it.

Meanwhile, back at the Anderson's Nightrider Pool Party, the rest of the gang was banging each other up during a game of Pool Frisbee War, which involved no less than three frisbees. Here is a report from Pinhead Stacey:

We all were injured dude. Joel got beat up the worst. Him and I were fighting to get out of the side of the pool and Joel completely fell backwards right on his back - It was hilarious, but he really hurt himself. He also got hurt doing something else. Then Amanda thought she broke her little toe. Rach had bobbed Jason hard on the face. Jason slammed my neck against the edge of the pool. We were pretty whooped.

So as you can see, the Nightriders are all on injured reserve. I'm thinking that someone forgot to give us the memo about getting old, putting aside childish things, taking care of our decrepit bodies.