Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Test for you

It has been super busy for me this week, Monkey Maniacs. But now, here for you, is a test:

TEST FOR SMART PEOPLE

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?



The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.


2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?



Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the Elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.



3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... Except one. Which animal does not attend?



Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.


4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?



Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.


According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory& amp; nbsp;that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends. Don't bother with 4 year olds, for they will answer correctly!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Quick Post

I'm totally swamped at work today, but just to let you know:

Click HERE to hear the demo of the new song "Oh Holy Spirit, Come." It's the first song on the list that you'll see. I posted the lyrics here last week.

Also, if you scroll further down on that page, you can hear the new demo with Lorie King's vocals on the bluegrass hymn she and I wrote, "You Will Find Me Working For You." And let me say that working with Lorie is almost as fun as going to her LOST parties on Wednesday nights. Almost.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Destined For World Domination?

This blogthing quiz got it all wrong. Some day, I shall rule the world, with my imaginary bunny and my Nightriders and my wee avenger and my creepy old uncle, and assorted minions to dangerous to name. But here is what blogthing says based on my quiz:

?
You Are Not Destined to Rule the World

You are destined for something else...
Like inventing a new type of cupcake.
You just don't have the stomach for brutality.
But watch out - because many people do!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Something new

Here's a draft of a hymn poem I've been working on -- a dedication-type text for the season of Pentecost. It's in 87.87D meter. I'm not sure if it's done or what stage it might be on.

In the upper room they waited
For the gift that was to come --
They, who’d walked beside the savior,
Seen the resurrected Son.
Then You came to them as promised;
They were first to know Your power.
Spirit, now You’ve come to fill us
In our land and in our hour.

Like a dove, You have descended
And You’ve taught redemption’s song.
Like a storm, You have upended
All our idols from their thrones.
Now we gather them for burning,
Counting all these things as loss,
Ever singing, ever yearning
Just to glory in the cross.

We accept Your invitation
Sent to Adam's fallen race.
You have spoken; We have listened,
Understanding through Your grace.
You direct and lead our praises;
You inspire our love for truth.
We submit our hearts for service;
Hands and feet to work for you.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

New Demo With My Favorite Singer

Click HERE to hear a new version of one of the songs I wrote last year and posted the lyrics for on this very blog - My Lord And My God. It's one of my personal favorites, in terms of feeling like I achieved what I wanted to achieve with the lyrics.

I had recorded a demo earlier with my own voice, but now I have a version up in my main page player featuring Lorie's angelic tones.

Later this week I will have another demo up with her lead vocals, a bluegrass gospel hymn we wrote together called "You Will Find Me Working For You."

Friday, February 16, 2007

What cartoon character are you?

Take this quiz. I scored as "Sponge Bob Square Pants" but was within one point of being Charlie Brown. Yikes:

Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked
yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble?



A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of
well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was
made into this test.



Answer all the questions (only 10) with what describes you best, add up
all your Points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and
look for your results. Do not cheat by looking at the end of the e-mail before
you are done ! Then forward this to all your friends (including the person who
sent it to you) and change the subject of this message to what character is you.



1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?

..a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)

..b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)

..c) Painting in the park (5 pts)

..d) Rock concert (1 pt.)

..e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)



2. What is your favorite type of music?

..a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)

..b) Alternative (1 pt.)

..c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)

..d) Country (5 pts.)

..e) Pop (3 pts.)



3. What type of movies do you prefer?

..a) Comedy (2 pts.)

..b) Horror (1 pt.)

..c) Musical (3 pts.)

..d) Romance (4 pts.)

..e) Documentary (5 pts.)



4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could
choose one of these?

..a) Waiter (4 pts.)

..b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)

..c) Teacher (3 pts.)

..d) Police (2 pts.)

..e) Cashier (1 pt)



5 What do you do with your spare time?

..a) Exercise (5 pts.)

..b) Read (4 pts.)

..c) Watch television (2 pts.)

..d) Listen to music (1 pt.)

..e) Sleep (3 pts.)



6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?

..a) Yellow (1 pt.)

..b) White (5 pts.)

..c) Sky Blue (3 pts. )

..d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)

..e) Red (4 pts.)



7. What do you prefer to eat?

..a) Snow (3 pts.)

..b) Pizza (2 pts.)

..c) Sushi (1 pt.)

..d) Pasta (4 pts.)

..e) Salad (5 pts.)



8 What is your favorite holiday?

..a) Halloween (1 pt.)

..b) Christmas (3 pts.)

..c) New Year (2 pts.)

..d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)

..e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)



9. If you co uld go to one of these places which one would it be?

..a)Paris (4 pts)

..b) Spain (5 pts)

..c) Las Vegas (1 pt)

..d) Hawaii (4 pts)

..e) Hollywood (3 pts)



10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?

..a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)

..b) Someone e attractive (2 pts.)

..c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)

..d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)

..e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)



Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting
for! Put your character in the subject line and forward to your friends and back
to the person that sent this to you. Very interesting to see "who" your friends
are!



(10-16 points) You are Garfield :

You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to
have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are
doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as
you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to; do what is right. Try to
remember, your happy spirit may hurt you or others.



(17-23 points) You are Snoopy:

You a r e fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in
and you are never are out of style You are good at knowing how to satisfy
everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but
you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and
having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of
fun times



(24-28 points) You are Elmo:

You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to
give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you
always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much
of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could cause many conflicts in your life.



(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants:

You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend
that anyone would ever have and never wants to lose. You never cause harm to
anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey,
it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous
people, and you will be

stress free.



(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown:

You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious
about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your Mom every
Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't
let your passion confuse you with reality.



(44-50 points) You are Dexter:

You are smart and definitely a thinker... Every situation is fronted
with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family
principles. You maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when
it comes. Try to do less over thinking every once in a while to spice things up
a bit with spontaneity!



Now don't spoil it! Have some Fun!! Change the subject of the email to
what you are and send it on!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hey, look what color my brain is

Your Brain is Green

Of all the brain types, yours has the most balance.
You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver.
You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual).

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Movie Quote Of The Day

FROM "BETTER OFF DEAD:"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles De Mar: [giving skiing instructions] Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Oh, those crazy signs

Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT
GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR
FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE
DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR
WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE
1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T
WORK)

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

The Answer Is Here

I stole this idea from a wild and crazy Texan, but since I don't have an idea for a column I figured, "Why not?"

So if anyone still reads my blog, here's the deal. You got questions -- I got answers. So just ask me anything. Anything in the world. Type a comment on this very post and I will type a reply comment with the answer. Whether you need homework help, moral guidance, trivia information, or whatever, just trust that ol' Porkchop Gilles, aka Love Caddy B-Dawg, The Forlorn Moonpuppy, is your hook-up. I'll get you squared away with an answer that will make you the envy of all your friends.

Really. I'm a veritable cesspool of information. I went to a really good school. So here I am, setting up shop. Fire away, people. Go!

"Just when they think they have the answers, I change the questions." -- Rowdy Roddy Piper

Monday, February 05, 2007

My Colts

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Monkey Maniacs of all ages:

My Colts ... are the champions.

Wahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As we say here in Indiana: "Cool."

Friday, February 02, 2007

How Many People Have Your Name?


HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere are:
4
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

New Hymn

Here's a new song I'm working on -- a work in progress. Thoughts?

Oh Holy Spirit, Come
A Confession Hymn For Pentecost (76.76.666 meter)

Proceeding from the Father,
Proceeding from the Son,
Like wind that rocks the water:
Oh Holy Spirit, come.
Sweep over this dead sea,
Drown our complacency;
Oh Holy Spirit, come.

We worshipped with abandon
When first we felt Your love.
Now years have stilled our passion;
Oh Holy Spirit, come.
Stir up a mighty wave,
Anoint our hearts to praise;
Oh Holy Spirit, come.

(chorus)
Oh Holy Spirit -- Oh Holy One.
Oh Holy Spirit -- Oh Spirit, come.

We’ve lost our heart’s desire;
We’re cold as ice and stone.
Now, Animating Fire:
Oh, Holy Spirit, come.
Set all our hearts ablaze
To testify of grace;
Oh Holy Spirit, come.

We’ve faded and we’re tired;
The battle has been long.
Refresh, revive, inspire;
Oh Holy Spirit, come.
Stoke up the flame in us:
A beacon for the lost;
Oh Holy Spirit, come.

repeat chorus