Here is the full-length version of an interview I wrote that was printed, in edited form, in the January Travelogue (my church's bimonthly journal). It's an interview with a married couple -- good friends of mine. They have some interesting things to say about missionary activities, dating and finding "the one," and other topics. They've led very interesting lives and I think you'll enjoy this piece. Since the article was published, they have found out they're expecting their first child:
Around The World And Back With The Wainrights
Bobby Gilles
Daniel and Kristyn Wainright and I came to Sojourn Gathered for the first time in the fall of 2004. Daniel and I worked together, and had been talking for awhile about the kind of church community we each wanted to find. I had heard about Sojourn from a friend, so I mentioned it to Daniel and we decided to check it out. Now, a little over two years later I sit in the Wainright’s dining room and we talk about how much Sojourn has become a part of our lives. I ask them for their story: what led them to Christ, to each other, to this community.
It is easy to get them to talk -- how they each came from tight families in small Kentucky towns: Daniel from eastern Kentucky and Kristyn from the west. They became Christians at a young age, although it wasn’t till young adulthood that they experienced the full knowledge of sin and grace. Daniel grew up, with his sister, in a “Walton’s” family environment, with a Baptist minister for a father and a teacher for a mother. Kristyn and her two siblings grew up in a family with lots of laughter and imaginative games on a farm their parents rented. From there, God led them in many ways to each other, around the world, and back again:
Travelogue: So you said even though you got saved early in life, it took awhile to fully appreciate what that meant?
Daniel: I didn’t really understand God’s grace till I was in my junior year of college. I had been in a couple bad relationships. Afterwards I took time out from dating relationships and moved back home and spent six or seven months living with my youth minister, taking that time to read and seek Christ. During that time God gave me more of a call to ministry and campus life.
Kristyn: I don’t think I really understood my sin till the summer before I went to college. I went to Nicaragua on mission. I was playing a hand-game with a little boy and he was singing a little song in Spanish in this place of poverty and I just started crying. This little boy, Gustavo, took tissues out of my belt and started wiping my tears. It was very powerful and made me consider, “Who am I?” When I went to college I made a decision that I wanted all this stuff I’d been active in at church and all the stuff I knew -- I wanted to be that. I remember getting face-down on the carpet of my dorm room, by myself before God, saying, “You know everything about me,” and just naming it all, calling my sins out, and saying “God, I desperately need you. I’m sick of hiding and pushing things under the rug.” I felt completely loved and embraced.
I never really knew how to pray or study my bible but I started writing a proverbs in my journal and writing what I think God wants to say to me and what I want to say to God about this.
Travelogue: How did you meet?
Daniel: We met several times when we were in college. She went to UK and I went to Georgetown. In our freshman year, I was the preacher on a missions team and she was on a singing team. Our teams ended up in the same church on the same day. She thought I was a heathen because some of us were gonna go dancing.
Kristyn: (Laughs) That’s not true.
Daniel: Sophomore year, two of my best friends got married. I was in the wedding party and she sang. I was dating someone else then. Junior year, I got that newly married couple to hook us up (this was 1998) Kristyn didn’t know they were undercover for me. We went to a bookstore in Lexington, had coffee --
Kristyn: No, no. You picked me up, we went to a horse park and looked at Christmas lights because I love lights.
Daniel: Oh, that’s right. I screwed that story up …
Kristyn: It was a beautiful horse park. Then we went to the book store because he had to buy a book for school. We read through children’s books together forever, which was a ton of fun. Then we went for coffee and dessert. We realized we were hungry an hour later so we went to dinner.
Daniel: It was cool because she was at a point where she didn’t need boys, and I was at a point where I was like, “I don’t want to be defeated by a girl.” So there was an attraction but we weren’t looking for someone to depend on --
Kristyn: We had both come to the point where we weren’t looking for someone of the opposite sex to fulfill our every needs because we had both been in relationships that had inflicted pain on others as well as ourselves.
Daniel: Later that fall Kristyn felt led to go to Wales on mission, and I was thinking, “What am I supposed to do?” That same month, I felt called to Kenya after a guy spoke to our class. So that next summer we went on separate mission trips and wrote letters back and forth. God protected us in some ways from one another, and we had a chance to share through letters.
Kristyn: We wrote letters, kept a journal for one another, and we had picked a Bible study that we’d each do so we’d had something in common, to share. We grew emotionally and spiritually in intimacy in those 2 months more than ever before. God used those letters to expose our hearts to one another.
Travelogue: What did you each do on your trips?
Kristyn: I was on a team of college students. Every week we’d go to a different village, each that needed something a little different. A lot of it was working with children. We’d go into schools, and they had a religious session for 10-15 minutes. Most of the teachers didn’t like doing it so it wasn’t hard to convince them to let us have that time. We’d share the gospel through stories and invite them to after-school clubs. The idea was for us to be a link between the children, the families, and the local church. The churches were dying -- it was the first time I’d seen churches with For Sale signs and boarded up windows. It was unbelievable to read, before we went, about the incredible revivals in Wales long ago, and then to see it now, desolate. We helped the small groups of local believers who were praying so hard for revivals because we brought children and their families to them. The church members then were able to make a connection so when we left they could follow-up.
God showed me that summer that missions had very little to do with my plans and everything to do with obedience. I thought we’d see many people come to know the Lord, but we didn’t. What we saw was God say “Follow me” and we said “yes.” We did see some good results, but most importantly, I realized He doesn’t call me to save anyone, but to follow Him.
Daniel: Kenya was totally opposite. People had nothing, and they were so hungry to hear the gospel. I got to spend a lot of time every morning in Bible study, and we did sports camps for an elementary school, a church and a boarding school in a small town outside of Nairobi near a lot of coffee plantations. I was the only white guy in the village and they’d all yell “Hey white guy” when I’d walk down the street. We worked with a local pastor that had planted fourteen churches already. He was incredible. It was an awesome experience. It gave me a heart for the international church.
Travelogue: When did you get married?
Daniel: We got back from being overseas in August, 1999. I had bought her ring in Kenya. We got engaged that November and were married in August of 2000.
Kristyn: We lived overseas 2 ½ years, then with Daniel’s parents for 5 months, then Daniel found a job with openings in Lexington and Louisville. We chose Louisville so Daniel could work on his MBA. Also, if you’re gonna live in Kentucky but you’re used to a big city with lots of cultural diversity, which is what we’d experienced overseas, then Louisville is your best option.
Travelogue: What led you back overseas shortly after your wedding?
Kristyn: By December 2000 we felt the call to go overseas. We thought we’d go to seminary first - we had school loans -- but God told us we were supposed to go sooner. We applied through the International Mission Board and were accepted to work with North African Arabs later that next year. We lived in southern France most of the time because the country we knew the Lord was calling us to was a closed country and we couldn’t get there directly. The city where we lived had the highest concentration of that people-group outside of their country (ed. note: specifics are not mentioned for security reasons). There we studied French, strategized how to engage that group. The Lord sent us all over though -- England, Tunisia. After 1 ½ years God gave us the opportunity to go to the country where this people-group lived, so we stayed there for a year.
Daniel: Before we’d gone, we were in training in Virginia when the Towers fell. Sept. 10 was our first day of training. Our professor told us “This will change everything. This will be a mark -- how America changes and relates with the Arab world.” So we were overseas for the war. There was a lot of fear among our families. The devotion I’d had the morning on Sept. 11 was Esther, where Mordecai told Esther “You were raised for such a time as this.” So that Esther passage became our theme for the whole time.
Kristyn: Everyone was questioning us, “Is this the time to go overseas and work with Arabs?” But that scripture was always in our minds and comforted us. God confirmed over and over that we were supposed to do this. It was “non-traditional missions.” What I’d always heard of was a traditional missionary who went in as a missionary. But we learned specific skills to find jobs and in those jobs we built relationships, and with those relationships we were able to share Christ in this really tight-knit community.
Travelogue: How was the response towards you in that community?
Daniel: Not the open response I’d experienced before. Islam is ingrained in their life so deeply -- everything relates to Islam. Everything. So talking about Christ is totally against the whole fabric of what they understand. They don’t have the opportunity to question. They didn’t feel like they could read scripture because it would be an offense to Allah.
Kristyn: They were incredibly hospitable, though. There was no stigma about discussing religion. Nothing like here. It naturally came up in everything because it was such a part of life. You eat and they say “hamdullah, which means “thanks be to God,” so you can say, “What does that mean to you?” It was so natural to have those conversations. Even in the mornings when you’d greet them, the greeting related to God so it was so easy to ask them, to be a learner and understand more of what they believe. Inevitably they would ask us what we believed. “What do Americans say when they have a baby? Do they have an expression that relates to thanking God?”
Daniel: And life was so communal. You might be in a city of three million but your life revolves around maybe 30. That’s who you do everything with. It was almost like “The Godfather.” You became a part of that family and you were protected. Even as we’re talking, it’s kind tricky from a security standpoint because they didn’t know we were missionaries. I went in as a business person and Kristyn was a teacher. That’s really what led us to Louisville -- so I could get a business degree and be who I say I am. That way if we ever go back overseas I can be that person and do what I want to do as far as sharing the gospel.
Kristyn: And in a holistic way -- helping to develop micro-businesses in order to help the local people, develop their community and local economy as well as the church. We both still have a heart for the Arab world.
Travelogue: Why did you leave?
Daniel: Our time was up. We’d actually extended it.
Kristyn: The IMB had not had missionaries living in this country for more than six months in over 20 years. Lots of war, terrorism and other things, so it truly was a “such a time as this” situation. The Lord allowed us to get Visas through our professions. We were able to learn and write reports to send back to personnel -- we were the people who learned how to get around in the country --
Daniel: How to get a Taxi, how to get a phone, how to get a computer or rent an apartment -- no one knew anything.
Kristyn: We kept praying that more people would be able to be missionaries there and use the information we’d obtained. The day before we were to fly home we were able to see the team we had been working with in France get Visas to carry on the work there, and know that they were gonna be there for awhile. It was the most incredible, humbling thing.
Travelogue: So back in the States you went to Winchester, KY for a few months, then Louisville?
Daniel: When we got back we spent 4-5 months traveling, talking, speaking, catching up with family and friends. We spoke at different organizations and churches, which we couldn’t have done if I’d got a job right off the bat. We spoke about our missionary experiences and we lead worship -- Kristyn sang and I played guitar. Just about every weekend we’d have a new place to speak at.
Then, the job I took that brought us to Louisville was one of the most humbling experiences I ever had. I had a college degree, spoke a different language, had all these experiences, and all of a sudden I’m pushing a mail cart around and serving other people. I needed that for my own pride issues. Then I got the opportunity where now I’m in sales, but that was humbling. We had all these plans for what we were gonna do when we got back from overseas but God cut through our pride.
Travelogue: And just a short time later, in 2004, you came to Sojourn. What were your initial impressions?
Kristyn: The first night I remember Daniel saying “This is a safe place.” We had both been struggling for a few months because we’d just moved to Louisville and had not been able to find a community that we felt God was calling us to be a part of. We had just left this amazing community overseas and were very much alone. We sensed that Sojourn was a tight, real community but was totally open and willing to be vulnerable. We longed for that -- it was so similar to what we had seen in the tiny group of believers overseas.
Daniel: And look how it’s grown. Two years ago when we all started it was like 200 people a service --
Travelogue: And now it’s around 500. And you’re community group leaders.
Daniel: It’s exciting to be a part of something that God is building, whether here or abroad. For awhile we put such pressure on ourselves and worshiped the idea of going back overseas. That was our doing; not God’s. But now we feel like Louisville is our home. Whether we stay for two more years or until we die, that’s okay as long as God wills it. We love it here.
